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There is no Such Thing as Rhythm in Motherhood

POSTED ON Nov 21st 2014 BY LESLIE LOFTIS UNDER Uncategorized

Years ago Maverick told me something that unnerved me a little at the time, but which I quickly learned was the truth. Until recently I just thought it was the truth about life with young children. Nope. It’s just the truth.

Back in the days when our kids were babies and I was trying to get some motherhood rhythm, she told me scheduling was great, but just as soon as you get used to a schedule, it changes. School schedules killed rhythm, as did Yasha’s business trips, our trips home, growing up, illnesses. Don’t even start me on potty training, the only aspect of motherhood upon which I will never reflect fondly. A steady schedule sticks around for about six weeks and then something changes.
Now, for readers with young children, that I felt inspired to write about this little truth on the switch to Daylight Savings weekend probably doesn’t shock. I routinely got bedtime and waking rhythms down just in time for Fall Back or Spring Forward. And it shouldn’t shock parents that Fall Back was weeks ago, and I didn’t manage to publish this little post. More events intervened. These were tragic, not for me, for a friend. Yet I wouldn’t trade being present for her for any sort of rhythm. (What happened in her life, that I’d trade, it just wasn’t on the table.)
It’s all ‘life is what happens when you are making other plans’. Life really isn’t your plans. It’s what you do when the big, and the little, moments come. It’s taken me a long time to learn, but the rhythm I’ve got has one baseline beat, my husband and I, and then it’s pretty much improv jazz.
I kept looking to the next hurdle to jump and then I’d get into a rhythm. That’s what I thought this summer. I had huge writing plans for summer. It quickly became apparent I wouldn’t do those. I actually wrote just a little less than I planed over the summer, just not on the topics I had planned. I thought it was an anomaly. No, it’s the norm.
I have finally learned—I hope— to switch predicted progress with steady progress. Despite the lack of predicability, I do still get things done. (All of this blog is getting ready to change, by the way.)  Years from now, I might be able to reflect and hear the rhythm. For now, however, I’ve got a basic daily rhythm—sometimes.
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And that’s just fine.
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